Ouija movie review

Article by Gabe Zia

Lazy Film Critic reviews....

Ouija is a horror film about a bunch of idiots who decide to start messing with a ouija board because one of their idiot friends messed with the same board and died (so the best coarse of action is to use the same ouija board to contact her soul, I'm sure nothing will go wrong). The film is made by the guys who made Knowing, and stars Olivia Cooke and Daren Kagasoff.

Olivia Cooke in Ouija

Now, earlier this year I talked about a film called Oculus. That movie was and still is one of my favorite movies of the year, mainly due to it's intelligence and creativity. These are not the qualities you will find in Ouija. Instead of intelligent horror, or at the very least something scary, this film is composed entirely of jumpscares. Not even scary jumpscares, mostly those cheap scares where it's nothing remotely scary happening really suddenly. This film has way too many of these. If you think I'm exaggerating, the first five scares in the film are all these cheap scares. Which is not scary at all, it's just dumb.

Still of The Conjuring 2... yeah, I wish.

As is almost a given with modern horror, the acting and writing here is basically nonexistent. I have no clue who any of these actors are, which in an indie film would mean they have unrecognized potential, but in a Hollywood film usually means they're only here because they're Hollywood-ish. The writing is also really strange, revolving entirely around the ouija board. The plot goes in the most predictable directions, and every scene is annoyingly predictable. To the point where it takes a horror movie with already a severe lack of horror and makes it even less scary.

Yep. That's a good idea. Go right ahead.

On the topic of the ouija board, let's talk about that for a second. For a plot device in a horror movie to be a board game - and a board game that actually exists no less - to be a horror plot device is a little odd. And for me, I could never buy into it.  And maybe that would be fine, if only the characters in this movie weren't so damn stupid. Step aside Jurassic Park 3, step aside Idiocracy, these are the dumbest characters put in a film. As the film goes on, more of them start getting picked off, and they just keep using the ouija board. I cannot comprehend why these morons kept on using it, even after they kept dying more and more after using it more. It's completely ridiculous.

Final Rating

Ouija is cliched, predictable, slow, and overall not scary. The acting is cheesy, the dialogue is even worse, and it has a pretty dumb plot device, even for a modern horror film. If you're looking for a good movie this weekend, I'd say you're probably better off with John Wick or something.

Ouija: 1/5